Be Sure to Listen
It can be hard for a child to vocalize their true emotions, given that many of them are still in elementary school and don’t have an entire vocabulary to fall back on. A child’s brain is also still developing, and sudden, shocking events such as a parent or a grandparent passing away could impact their physical and mental health. Wait for an appropriate moment in time to approach them and should they feel relaxed enough to talk to you, be there to listen. Hear what they have to say, judgment-free, and provide them with affection and reassurance to help them understand they’re not alone in feeling this way.
Show Them How to Be Strong
Loss doesn’t necessarily affect everyone at the same time; in fact, it can take days or weeks for an individual to process loss and truly begin to accept it. This means that at any given moment, someone can be affected by the void that there loved one has left, and this can be especially painful for the child or grandchild of a deceased loved one. This mental anguish can present a series of attitude and personality changes; a child that typically loves to play outside and hang out with friends may become more isolated and quieter following the death. As a parent/guardian, you need to understand your impact on your child’s emotions if they see you putting on a brave face and continuing with your duties, they may be inclined to follow your lead and find their inner strength.
Build A Memory Box
Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. It’s important for your child to have access to family videos, photo albums and other important memory pieces (i.e. their favourite necklace/bracelet, hat etc.) that will help your child reminisce and smile. Keep this memory box available within reach for yourself and your child; you may not need to look in it every day but having it close and knowing you can access their photograph in a split second can aid the healing process.
Sometimes, you can’t find the right words to offer to the friends and family a deceased person; in cases like these, simply being there to provide support and comfort is all you can do. Attending a funeral visitation or wake is one way for you to give support and consolation. Before you attend a funeral home to honour the life of a deceased acquaintance, friend or loved one, there are some basic rules & etiquette protocols to follow. Keep these tips in mind before attending a memorial service:
Wear Conservative Clothing
You may not need a reminder of this, but the ceremony is set to honour the life & achievements of the deceased, so it’s important for you to dress appropriately for the occasion. If your personal style is to wear flashy and bright coloured clothing, you make want to re-think your attire before attending the funeral home. Most funeral homes in western societies recommend that all attendees wear black or neutral coloured clothing. White is also a commonly accepted colour while attending a wake or funeral ceremony. Furthermore, it’s very respectful to look presentable; ensure all of your clothes are pressed and cleaned.
Show Up on Time
Showing up late, in general, is not a very good look. For whatever the reason, showing up to an event as important as a funeral service significantly late, is often seen as disrespectful to the deceased and their family. Of course, unexpected events can occur such as a flat tire or a sick child but showing up on time is paramount. As a courteous gesture, be sure to call or text someone to let the family know that you may be late. If you do show up late to a memorial service, it’s important to remain quiet and unassuming; if the cortege has already begun, remain outside until the procession has finished. Offer your condolences following the ceremony.
Keep Your Phone in Your Pocket
So much of our lives we spend looking at our phone, engaging in conversations and taking photographs. When you’re attending a funeral, it’s important for you to centralize your attention on the matter at hand. You’re at the funeral home to spend time and to offer your best wishes to the friends & family of the deceased. You may not understand just how much it means to the friends and family members to have you there, so it’s honestly best to leave your phone in your pocket. On the same note, taking photographs of the procession is typically prohibited by the funeral home and the family of the deceased.
Losing someone you’re close to is amongst the hardest things you’ll ever experience in your lifetime, which is why showing up to funeral service is so important. It aids the healing process and reinforces the love and appreciation you had for the deceased. For more information regarding funeral home etiquette, contact Delta Funeral Home to learn more.
It’s always important to plan & prepare for the future, especially because you can never anticipate how life is going to unfold. While nobody is enthralled with the idea of pre-planning a funeral from themselves or a loved one, it’s essential if you want to reduce complications, stress and prevent fights & disagreements regarding the estate and the will of the deceased. For some people, discussions regarding after-death plans can be uncomfortable or nerve-wracking. Still, doing could save you a lot of time and heartache, knowing you’re fulfilling your loved one’s wishes. Here are three reasons to pre-plan for a funeral.
Reduce Familial Burdens
Wishes that are left undocumented when somebody passes makes it hard for family members to ensure their after-death intentions are rectified. Important things that must be decided on, such as if the deceased would instead be cremated or buried, is an obvious choice that only they could make. Furthermore, would the deceased like to be displayed in an open casket at their wake and how much are they comfortable investing in their after-death ceremony.
Finances Will Be Organized
The cost of death may come as a surprise to some families, and the overall price can range into the thousands of dollars. Therefore, by pre-planning, you will have a much clearer picture of how much you will need to save to fulfill the intentions of the deceased. Pre-planning will also enable families to take necessary action to ensure that money is not locked or inaccessible after a person passes away. Should financing a funeral make more sense for you and your family, there are numerous financing solutions, including funeral trusts & insurance that are designed to help.
You Will Adequately Honour Your Loved One
Perhaps the most important reason to pre-plan for a funeral is being able to provide the deceased, and their family and friends, with a memorial service or wake that honours them in a heartfelt manner. While death is a natural part of life, there is no doubt about the physical and mental toll that surviving family and friends feel dealing with during the mourning process. A well-thought-out funeral service will help family and friend’s grief and eventually accept the nature of the situation. You have one opportunity to celebrate and honour the life of a loved one when they pass away, and therefore you should take the planning & preparation of it seriously.
Pre-planning for your funeral, or the funeral of a friend or loved one, will ensure that the deceased’s family experiences minimal stress in the finalization of the will. It will also help financially and ensure the deceased’s life is honoured the right way. For more information, visit our preplanning page
Etiquette While Attending A Funeral Home
When someone you know passes away, it’s a kind gesture to attend their funeral procession and offer your condolences to the family and friends of the deceased. Attending a funeral home for a friend or acquaintance can be intimidating, especially because it is such a solemn and personal moment for many. It’s important to practice a conservative & thoughtful persona while attending a funeral, memorial service or awake. Proper etiquette will ensure that you’re paying your respects to the deceased and their closest loved ones. Here are four things to keep in mind to ensure your etiquette is appropriate.
What You Should Say
It can be hard to find the right words and expressions to offer to individuals going through mourning, which is why you should quickly run through what you’re going to say before you attend. Initially, offer your sympathies, and if you know the family well enough, offer them a heartwarming story or memory that you shared with the deceased.
What You Should Wear
It is important to dress formally when attending a funeral procession or a ceremony of life. The colour of your formal dress or suit should be dark as to avoid capturing the attention of other funeral-goers; it’s a moment for the deceased, not an opportunity to wear a statement piece. If you plan on wearing jewellery, ensure the pieces are not too extravagant or blingy, opt for more modest or conservative pieces.
Arriving at The Funeral Home
“Early is on time and on time is late,” is a phrase you should try to remember before attending the funeral home. Enter the funeral home as quiet and respectfully as possible. As a rule, do not sit in the front couple of rows as these are usually reserved for immediate family and close friends of the deceased.
Using Your Phone
Funeral processions are not the time to engage in social media or photography. Even if you are all dressed up, the moment is intended to honour the life and memory of a deceased individual. Pictures should only ever be taken with explicit approval from the immediate family of the deceased. Another reason why all mobile devices should be turned off inside of the funeral home is that they can be particularly distracting and disturbing in moments where silence is observed. In summary, keep your cellphone off & in your pocket or leave them in your vehicle.
Attending a funeral, memorial service should be revered and respected, which is why we hope the points mentioned above help you practice proper etiquette at a funeral home
A death in the family can be incredibly stressful for everyone involved. It can be made even more stressful by being given the daunting task of writing the eulogy for your loved one. Understandably, in a time filled with grief and sorrow, you may need help collecting your thoughts and knowing how to write them down to create a successful eulogy. Here are some tips on how you can write and deliver a meaningful eulogy:
Keep Your Eulogy Time to Around 5 Minutes
A eulogy is not meant to be an hour-long speech, but rather keep it to around 5 minutes. This will keep the listeners attentive and will help impact them in a meaningful way. Often if a eulogy goes on too long, not only will you lose the attention of the people there - you also risk making people feel uncomfortable or awkward. Don’t forget - this is a vulnerable time for everyone there and emotions will be running high. Keep the focus on your loved one - not your presentation.
By keeping your eulogy brief, it will also make it easier for you. When you have a shorter eulogy, it means you will have an easier time memorizing and reciting it. On top of that, it will help you collect and organize your thoughts to touch upon the meaningful parts of your loved one’s life.
Stay Positive During Your Eulogy
No one is happy to go to a funeral. Saying good-bye to a loved one is one of the hardest things we must do. At a time where so many people are already hurting emotionally, it’s especially crucial to keep your eulogy as positive as possible and try to lift people’s spirits.
When writing a eulogy, remember that it should be written to celebrate your loved one’s life rather than add to the sorrow that many are already feeling. Don’t be afraid to add a funny story in the mix, celebrate their achievements and reference things that made your loved one happy. This will help lift everyone’s spirits during an incredibly emotional time.
Write Your Eulogy from The Heart
Lastly, a very important part of any eulogy is to make sure that what you’re writing comes from the heart. A eulogy is very personal and is used to describe who your loved one was and why they made such an impact in life. Simply researching and reciting facts about a loved one doesn’t make for a very personal eulogy.
Instead, try not to overthink too much when writing the eulogy: instead, let your thoughts flow from the heart. Write about personal experiences, illustrate what they enjoyed by sharing a story and show everyone what made your loved one’s life meaningful.
Funerals are a time where everyone gets together and celebrates the life of a cherished friend or family member. While delivering a eulogy can seem daunting, if you follow the tips listed, you will be able to deliver a successful and meaningful eulogy that will remind everyone of what made your loved one so special. Are you in need of planning a funeral service? Visit Delta Funeral Home to learn how we can help.
Creative Ways to Honour Your Deceased Loved One
Hearing the news that you’ve lost someone close to you is a heartbreaking experience. Family and friends of the deceased will respond to the bad news in different ways. Many won’t have anything to say and would prefer to be alone with their thoughts, while others need to find something to do to keep their minds occupied. If you’ve recently lost a close friend or family member and need something to keep you occupied, here are a few creative projects that could help you honour the life of your loved one.
Plant a Tree in Their Name
It’s not easy to accept the fact that life goes on after a loved one passes. Mourning is a real process that friends and family go through to accept the unfortunate situation, which is why many people look for creative outlets to express their emotions better. One creative project you could undertake would be planting a tree for the deceased in your yard. When that tree begins to grow, and leaves begin to bud, take one off the tree and document them in a scrapbook. As time moves on, there will be days where you need to visit them mentally - so go out, sit under the tree and allow nature to heal you.
Create a Memorial Blanket
Your loved one used to provide you with the warmth of hugs, kisses and bellies full of laughter, and although they may be gone, their warm, kind and gentle spirit isn’t. One great way to keep them by you through the good times and the bad is to transform their favourite clothing articles (i.e. sweater, t-shirts, etc.) or sports jerseys into a memorial blanket. These blankets are perfect for cozying up and watching your loved one’s favourite movie, and for the nights where you find it difficult to fall asleep.
Name a Bench in Their Honour
A popular expression of remembrance is donating a bench to your local park in honour of your loved one. Not only will a park bench keep their memory alive and give you a spot to visit them, but it’s the gift that keeps on giving. A park bench memorial will be used by countless people, where deep conversations will be held and where memories will be created, and it will all be in thanks to your loved one.
For centuries, humans have found ways to honour the life of their loved ones in creative ways. Creative memorials are the perfect way for children and adults to come to terms with the situation and ensure that they always carry the legacy of their loved one in their hearts.
We’re big proponents of funeral pre-planning. We believe that it is the most effective and practical way to ensure that your end of life wishes are realized. Funeral pre-planning gives you the ability to choose how you are displayed at your funeral, what happens to your body following your death, and the type of ceremony you would like to be held in your honour. If you’re interested in pre-planning your funeral, you’ll need to make a few tough decisions. So, make sure that you take your time and think about your decisions very carefully.
Type of Service
You will need to choose the kind of service you want for your end of life ceremony. There are different funeral services available, including wakes or the standard funeral procession. You will also need to decide if you’re going to have an open casket or a closed casket. You can also set up a mailing system where your executor will mail out letters informing your loved ones of your passing.
Contact Your Funeral Home of Choice
You will need to get in contact with the funeral home that you wish to carry out your end of life ceremony. The funeral home director will go over a series of different options for your service and ensure that it aligns with your core values and intentions. Furthermore, your funeral director will discuss the best options for you considering your budget - which brings us to our next point.
Organizing Funds
A major reason why so many people are pre-planning their funerals is that they’ve experienced, first-hand, how finances can ruin what is supposed to be a solemn and quaint service. Remove the financial burden of a funeral from your family and make payments into a trust that will become accessible at the time of your death. These trusts accrue interest over time, which is why it’s smart to plan it early. Additionally, you can buy insurance to protect the amount of money you’ve arranged for your funeral.
If You Move, Let Your Funeral Home Know
Funeral pre-planning is taking precautionary steps to ensure your final wishes are met and that your family is free from the financial burden of paying for a funeral service. If you decide to move cities or countries following your funeral pre-planning, ensure that you let the funeral home know that you’re no longer in the same place. Your funeral home director will be able to transfer your pre-plans to a closer funeral home.
There are a number of reasons why you should consider pre-planning your funeral service. learn more
Funerals have always been a part of human history - as social beings; we are inclined to honour and remember the legacy of our deceased loved ones. Funerals are not meaningless ceremonies; they serve a number of purposes designed to help us heal.
Sometimes we’re asked, “what’s the point of having a funeral if the deceased isn’t around to see it?” We understand that funerals may be unimportant for some, but funerals are needed for closure for a lot of people. The following article will discuss the reasons why funerals are so important.
Acceptance
It can be hard to accept reality when a loved one passes. We don’t want to come to terms with the truth and would rather keep their death out of sight and out of mind. Funerals help us come to grips with what has happened to learn to embrace healing and self-care. A common misconception with funerals is that they are the final lap of the grieving process, but they’re the start of that process.
Memories
Funerals give friends and family in mourning the opportunity to reminisce and think about the good times they had with the deceased. Eulogies are a great way to formulate thoughts and memories into a cohesive speech for everyone to enjoy. Still, there are many other ways for families to honour the legacy of their deceased loved ones. For example, at many funeral processions, someone close to the deceased may decide to sing their favourite song or create a tribute video. If you’re planning on doing something creative (i.e. writing a poem, writing a speech, writing a song, etc.) for the funeral, try to make it professional, yet reflective of the relationship you had with the deceased.
Comfort
Everyone that attends a funeral procession is feeling similar emotions. So while learning to accept your new reality and embracing old memories are big parts of these ceremonies, networking and connecting with people who feel the same way is also important. Being able to relate with people who are also having difficulty dealing with loss will allow you to build a support system. Whether you need to vent and get feelings off your chest or need a hug, funerals will connect you with people who care about you.
Losing someone you love is incredibly difficult, so it’s important to take care of physical and mental well-being during this time. Attending a funeral service to honour the life of your deceased friend or family member will help you deal with acceptance, it will give you the chance to reminisce, and it will put you in touch with people offering support. For more information, contact us.
Photo displays are a wonderful tradition for funerals and memorial services because they make us smile. Of course, being given the opportunity to see these memories and share them with family helps us grieve… but making us smile during these times is extra special. Smiling makes the grieving process more bearable.
Some families, usually at the request of the deceased, are starting to have fun or be creative with photo displays. It’s even become trendy to take selfies at funerals. This article will help you discover new ways of using photos during a memorial service.
HOW TO CHOOSE PHOTOS
Let’s start with how you’re going to choose the photos for the display(s). Since many of us have been collecting digital photos for years, a popular method is to create a digital timeline. Choosing photos from every stage of life. You can personalize the displays even further by adding captions or funny quotes that relate to the photo.
Don’t worry about the quality of the photo. Not all pictures are perfect, especially those taken before digital cameras. Whether the photo is blurry or has faded over the years, it doesn’t matter, as long as the photo itself is relevant. People are usually able to get past a photo with low resolution and appreciate the subject.
TRI-FOLD MEMORIAL COLLAGE
This is a modern twist of a classic idea. A collage can offer snippets of your loved ones’ life. Using a Tri-Fold display board not only brings more depth to the display, it actually makes it easier. Most office supply stores sell these boards, and they don’t require a special stand or easel, they sit naturally on a table. A word of caution; avoid using glue or regular tape, this could damage the photograph. Instead look for removable double-sided tape while you’re at the office store for the tri-fold.
TREE OF LIFE
This is a really beautiful and unique way to feature photos during a memorial service. Simply buy a large potted tree (hopefully with many branches). It helps to print the photos on a heavier cardstock, so they don’t sway or turn around. Punch a small hole in the top of each photo and use a ribbon to loop around a branch. The tree also makes a beautiful keepsake (with or without the photos). You could also consider planting it outside or in your loved one’s favourite park.
TRADING CARDS OR PRAYER CARDS
If the deceased was a sports fan, then you should definitely consider this idea. You can hand out the cards when your guests arrive or spread them around the funeral home. Making up different cards with different pictures promotes your guests trading them with each other. Trading cards bring interaction to your memorial service and are a natural conversation starter. An idea like this is also easily customizable to truly represent/honour your loved one.
PRINTED DESSERTS
This is definitely the tastiest idea we have, but it may not be appropriate for all memorial services. Personally, I love the idea of my friends and family eating cupcakes with my face on them, at my funeral. Printing your loved one’s photos on treats can make guests of all ages smile.
CELEBRATING LIFE WITH BALLOONS
It’s become popular for a memorial service to be a celebration of life. If this is the case for your loved one, pull out the helium and hang your photos. Tie ribbons (about a foot long) to the end of each balloon and hang your pictures with them. The balloons can be placed over a buffet table, the bar or around the entrance. Varying the length of each ribbon helps to enhance the display.
Arranging for your cremation in advance means you're communicating your final wishes. It’s an act of generosity and kindness to your family when they need it the most. You’re taking the burden off of your loved ones and they feel solace in knowing they’re honouring your life, just how you wanted. Arranging for your cremation is a unique experience though, you’re bound to face a lot of emotions and have a lot of questions. That’s why we created this guide, exploring how to arrange cremation services in advance.
WHAT CREMATION SERVICES INCLUDE
The funeral home or crematorium should be transparent about their services and the costs involved.
Typically, a simple cremation means there are no formal ceremonies. With Delta Funeral home & Creamation Centre, your cremation occurs at our on-site crematorium in the Lower Mainland. The service includes:
- Arrangement conference in your home
- Registration of death with Vital Statistics
- nbsp; Transfer from place of death (24-hour service, no additional charges)
- Composing and placing of obituary on our web site
- Cremation container
- Cremation fee
- Temporary urn
- Death Certificate
- Delivery of Death Certificates and ashes to the family
- Online Executor Assistance Resource
CHOOSING YOUR CREMATION PROVIDER
Working with a cremation service provider you trust, with a solid reputation is important because their expertise and experience will bring you peace of mind. The Cremation Association of North America provides a checklist to help you make the right decision. It includes questions and considerations to ensure you’re making the right choice for you and your loved ones.
KEEP YOUR LOVED ONES IN THE LOOP
Communicating your wishes to your loved ones is important. Particularly with those who will be overseeing your cremation and memorial services. Be sure to document whom you're working within in your will, keeping receipts and/or instructions handy in case of discrepancies.
PICKING OUT AN URN
Urns are available in a wide selection of materials, shapes, and colours. Many are designed to be kept at home, but a common concern many clients share these days is eco-friendly urns.
You really would be surprised by the variety of urns there are to choose from. Some are specifically engineered to simplify scattering ashes, others are disguised as a mantel clock or bookends. Making this choice now simplifies the process for your loved ones and is the best way to ensure you get what you want.
PAYING FOR CREMATION
When you’ve resolved your final decisions, paying for the arrangements in advance can help ensure there are no mistakes or doubts later on. Alternatively, (if applicable) your crematorium should have your life insurance information. While they won’t provide payment at this point, when the time comes your loved ones will get information regarding if and how insurance will cover the arrangements.